So, I finally got everything set up to switch my blog to my own domain. I may end up choosing a new name. Who knows. Not important at this time.
Besides that, I have been studying for finals. A break from studying leaves me pondering certain facets of life. I'm sitting outside having a smoke the night before my finals happen, experiencing a wide variety of emotions.
First off. I absolutely love my child. She is the best thing to have ever happened to me. The mistakes I made that led me to being gifted with such an extraordinary child were necessary. There is truth to the phrase "mistakes are blessings in disguise." The smile on her face when I cook her favorite food, the giggles when I tickle her or serve her koolaid in one of my wine glasses, the sleepy snuggles I get when she is passed out in my arms...nothing compares to having this little living, breathing human being that *I* created in my life. She is my world, and I wouldn't trade her for anything.
I also love my Android phone. It makes things so very easy to accomplish from my cellphone, including keeping this blog updated. I cannot believe I was ever such a fan of that BlackBerry I had (in it's defense, it was a good phone), and I know now, after having an iPod, that I shall never own an iPhone. Unless a job requires me to use one. Even then, I'll forward all of it's calls to my evo. HTCevo....<3
But there are more serious things on my mind.
I hear my neighbors yelling because someone dropped and broke a camera...and I'm thinking that, in facing that myself, is probably pitch a fit also. But currently I could care less if a camera broke, because I have bigger things to worry about than caring if material items break. But then, I reflect on the fact that I am worried about something as trivial as school when others out there are people out there starving without electricity and whatnot. We have everything we need here, for now. So I am grateful for that.
Then I sit back and think about my friends. I am lucky to have such considerate and awesome friends, ones that I can depend on for pretty much anything. From a place to stay, a warm meal, a shoulder to cry on, etc. I have been very fortunate in my life to know such incredible people. They know who they are, so I do not have to mention names.
I also think of recently, when I had a few friends I thought I could trust...and a few misappropriated and absolutely untrue words from an enemy of mine led these "friends" to drop off contact. They chose to believe the false words of someone who is known to lie about me, just because they have known this person longer. The reasoning was that I apparently told a secret of theirs to said person. I would not do that, as my closest friends know. And in light of the fact that I know much juicier things about these people and have never uttered a word about those either (or else said "enemy" would have mentioned those also) they should know better than to disbelieve me. But regardless of this, those who feel they cannot trust me, and therefore will disregard my friendship based on the words of someone who has shown a past propensity to try to hurt me, can absolutely go to hell. I don't want them around anyway.
I then reflect on my family. I have such an incredibly loving family. Not once have any of them ever not been there for me, even if done so in their own unique ways. I can always depend on my family in a bind, despite the bad choices I have made. And I can only hope that this holds true no matter what endeavors I undertake in the future.
My current job situation infuriates me. I have an awesome resume, which shines with academic excellence and extracurricular activities. Yet, I cannot seem to find an internship anywhere. I have applied to no less than 150 places, and yet, I have only interviewed with one place. I have high hopes for another that I completed a skills assessment test for today, so I am hoping this pans out.
My apartment is currently a mess, but this shall be remedied soon. I have been house shopping recently, trying to find something with a (hopefully large) backyard, so that hadley can run around and play. Secondly, I want a porch to put a rocking chair on, so I can get back to my passion: reading. I absolutely love to be outside, on a nice day, with a good book, and the sound of my child's laughter echoing in the breeze. On that note, I also love to go camping. Not just finding a site and pitching a tent. I'm talking, outside, under the stars, with a fishing pole in one hand, a nice alcoholic beverage in the other, listening to the crickets and the crackling of the fire as my food cooks. I absolutely love nature. I need to go camping soon, relieve some stress so that I can focus on the more important things in life.
There is much more to reflect on, but unfortunately I have to go to bed so that I will wake in time for my exam. Oh, college...one year left of our tumultuous relationship, and I already want out. Please be gentle to me these last twelve months. You have not been quite as cruel to me as the last guy I dated, but that's to be part of tomorrow's blog. I'd rather go to bed tonight in a good mood, and quite relaxed. So...
Goodnight.
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